Puppies Recall, Children Fly

I’ve learned many things from having a new puppy. The most important being that there is a very big difference between raising puppies and raising children.

Yes, I know, that sounds like it should be obvious. But that’s the problem. I don’t think it is. And I don’t think I’m alone in this.

After all, puppies and babies are both bundles of joy that we love to cuddle and kiss and snuggle.

And they both need us to dote on them, love them and teach them how to live as members of our society.

Like many people do, I often think of my new puppy as the second baby I never had. And I often treat him that way too.

So what’s the problem?

First Be Cute, Fearlessness Follows

Every week, I learn something new from my beloved Stella.

This week’s life lessons from my hamster:

• If you’re very, very cute, you can do anything

• Size doesn’t matter, only cuteness does

 

 

This is good news! Because although we have no control over how tall we are, we have complete control over how cute we are:

• Cuteness is a matter of one’s own perception. Or at least, it should be
• Every person should perceive him or herself as cute and adorable, whether or not others do
• And when you’re very, very cute, there is nothing you can’t do

Tip – if you do not perceive yourself as cute, you must first learn to believe in your cuteness before you can learn hamster-like fearlessness!

Admittedly, Stella is adorable even from a completely unbiased and objective point of view.

But it isn’t my perception of Stella’s cuteness that allows her to be fearless, it’s hers.

Stella sees herself as utterly and exquisitely adorable. She has such confidence in this reality, such a conviction of her own cuteness, that it never occurs to her to doubt it.

Because she’s cute, her size is irrelevant. She has no fear that her small stature might prevent her from accomplishing anything.

Cute trumps all.

These are just a few of the things Stella has proved one can do when one is cute:

1. Be fearless – you’re cute, you’re allowed to be:

• You can chase the cat. Even if he is ten times your size.
• Don’t let the fact that you are the cat’s very definition of a tasty-looking snack stop you from chasing the cat
• In fact, you owe it yourself to chase the cat. Doing so will empower you to realize that you can accomplish anything
• He’s a cat. You’re a hamster. Sure, you’re small, but you’re cute. Time to prove a point

2. Follow your dreams – no goal is too lofty:

• You want to climb the blinds? Climb them
• You do not need a reason to climb the blinds
• The fact that the blinds lead absolutely nowhere and that there is no food at the end, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t climb them
• Pursue your dream. It’s your dream, nobody else’s
• After all, you’re cute, it’s the prerogative of the exquisitely cute to do exactly what they want

3. Don’t worry about what others think:

• You’re very cute, you can do whatever you want
• Shove as much food as you like in your cheeks, don’t worry, you’ll still be really, really cute. Because you’re a hamster
• (Unfortunately this particular lesson in the powers of cuteness only applies to hamsters and baby humans and not to adult humans)

We should all strive to be as unwaveringly confident in our cuteness as Stella is.

Because being cute, clearly, is the first step to fearlessness.

Humans – Saving Earth From Invasion

The other morning while sipping coffee and mindlessly surfing the internet (basically procrastinating on leaving for work), I stumbled upon this catchy Yahoo headline:

Single men only wash their bed sheets four times a year, study says

My first thought was – Eeew!

My second was – somebody actually took the time to do a study on how often single men wash their sheets?

Really? Are you kidding me?

Who cares?

Apparently, lots of people. The article rated front page headlines on Yahoo – right alongside other random newsworthy topics such as Syria, Obama, a destructive wildfire and a link to a video of furry critters jumping on trampolines…

In fact, that evening the lists of the most read and most shared stories on Yahoo included one on:

Syria? No.

Wildfires? No.

The linen-washing habits of single men? Yes.

Not for the first time, I had to ask myself – just exactly how crazy are we humans?

And, of course, I had to read the article. This is what I gleaned:

• Respectable sources admit that, despite the “Eeew!” factor, linen-washing frequency is more a matter of personal preference than it is a matter of health
• Health concerns for allergies, skin conditions and mites in conjunction with infrequent sheet washing are not founded
• People between the ages of 35 to 50 generally wash their bed sheets each week

I have to say, I found the article rather underwhelming. I did, however, find the article’s final point rather intriguing:

Although infrequent sheet washing may not be a health concern, one source cited in the article does suggest that it could be an “aesthetic one” for those (i.e. all those single men) “hoping to forge meaningful relationships.”

Hmmmm……really? Yes, I know, I asked that already.

But presumably, in the grander scheme of things, bed cleanliness would not be one of the germane factors in the forging of meaningful relationships.

At least, I would hope not.

I’m not suggesting that it’s irrelevant, not at all. But theoretically, by the time one is discovering how often a person washes their bed linens…anyway…you get the point.

How often do single men wash their sheets?

The real question, in my opinion, is – who cares? And more importantly, who cares enough to actually do a study on it?

Only those nutty humans from a planet called Earth.

On the bright side, I’m convinced that human craziness, and the fear that it might be contagious, is the one thing that keeps the aliens from landing.

Hmmm, perhaps someone should write an article about what’s trendy, and what’s not, in dog names…oh, wait, they already did – The Top 10 Least Trendy Dog Names in 2013 – yet another article blended in amongst news of war and devastation.

Yes, I read it.

In case you’re wondering, it seems Scooter tops the list.

Just doing my part to keep the alien invasion of Earth at bay!

The Waiting Conspiracy

Why is it that patience is considered a virtue, but procrastination is not?

I believe it’s nothing short of a conspiracy – a conspiracy against joy!

Think about it:

• Patience – the act of waiting for fun, enjoyable and pleasant things
• Procrastination – the act of waiting for boring, mundane and unpleasant things

Patience and procrastination. Both mean the same thing – waiting. The only difference is the level of joy and pleasure in that which is being delayed.

It hardly seems fair.

Yes, I know, it’s quite profound 😉

Okay, but on a more serious note…

Life is a journey. And to me, living that journey is the ultimate joy.

Yet sometimes, that which is praised as patience is really the act of putting off the living of life. And that which is labeled as procrastination is really the act of living life, and postponing those things which can easily wait for another day.

Life is to be lived, and I am going to live it! I am going to fill it with passion, love, laughter and lots and lots of bouncing – like a purple Tigger should 🙂

If that makes me an impatient person who procrastinates too much, so be it 🙂

Life is now. It isn’t going to wait for me. It isn’t going to wait for anyone.

So I say – join me and fight the waiting conspiracy!

Go forth, procrastinate, and stop being so patient!

My Jiu Jitsu Family – The Best Self-Defense!

I love jiu jitsu.

But sometimes I hate it too.

Jiu jitsu forces me to see myself for who I really am – all of me – the good, the mediocre, and yes, the ugly.

I’ve always thought of myself as a nice and generally humble person. And I think for the most part I am.

But on the mat I discovered that I have a bigger ego than I ever knew. It’s a side of myself that I don’t much like.

And jiu jitsu forces me to confront it every time I roll.

It’s one of the things I love about jiu jitsu. And one of the things I hate about it too.

A while ago, I had a health issue that took me off the mat for a few months. Being off the mat allowed me to hide from that side of me that I don’t like and reassure myself that I’m a nice and humble person without pesky ego issues.

By the time I finally recovered and was able to resume rolling, I realized I wasn’t looking forward to being confronted with the ugly that I don’t like to see.

I counted up the months I’d been gone, and couldn’t handle the thought of going back and being that much “farther” behind than all the people who hadn’t quit and who’d been showing up every day and getting steadily better.

So, instead of going back, I convinced myself that it was time to quit. I told myself that I was getting too old, and I’d had too many injuries, and I had too many health issues……suffice it to say, I came up with a litany of reasons for why I should quit.

It was a litany of bull manure, true, but I told it to myself all the same.

I’m nothing if not stubborn, irrational, and stubbornly irrational.

For 44 years, self-sabotage has been one of my primary go-to coping strategies.

This has It has led to a very long list of regrets.

But be that as it may, quitting has always seemed preferable to actually facing unpleasant things. So quit I did.

Not unsurprisingly, however, quitting jiu jitsu didn’t protect me from seeing the not-so-good in myself.

It merely meant that instead of staring at my pesky ego issues I was staring at my pesky quitting issues.

And I was miserable.

It took me a long time, but finally I allowed myself to see the truth.

When I gave up on jiu jitsu in order to avoid facing the fact that I have flaws, I cut myself off from a community of people I loved dearly – my jiu jitsu family.

Jiu jitsu is an interesting thing. When you roll, you have an intense close and personal interaction with another person.

You may have known that person for years, or you may have met them for the first time only a few seconds earlier.

Either way, you roll around on the mat with that person and become absolutely drenched in a mixture of their sweat, your sweat, and a bunch of other people’s sweat.

But it doesn’t matter. You roll. You play. You laugh.

It’s like being a child, only better.

I think you can learn just about anything you need to from a person just by rolling with them.

If you’re a jerk, you can’t hide that on the mat. If you’re a caring, nurturing person, you can’t hide that either, not even when you’re choking someone. Timid. Scared. Anxious. Can’t hide any of it.

My jiu jitsu peeps are people who’ve rolled with me.

That means they’re people who have seen the me that I see when I’m on the mat – the good, the mediocre, and the ugly.

And they like me anyway. They’re a community of people who like me, and accept me, just the way I am. It doesn’t get much better than that.

That’s something worth fighting for.

I have lots of regrets in life. But I’ve decided that giving up on jiu jitsu and losing my jiu jitsu family because of I don’t like seeing my imperfections is not going to be one of them.

My jiu jitsu peeps don’t give a rat’s butt about my ego issues, in fact, they probably have their own issues. We all do. They just want me to get over myself, stop the self-sabotage nonsense, and get my butt out on the mat so that we can all have fun, play, and roll around on the ground in our jiu jitsu pajamas.

Which is exactly what I’m doing.

I love jiu jitsu.

And I love my jiu jitsu family. They may just be the best self-defense against my worst enemy – me!